Turning on a dime

8 May

Sometimes I amaze myself….not always in a good way.  I marvel at my ability to go from very warm and loving to the absolute opposite — cold and bitter or angry.

Sometimes it comes out of the blue — sometimes there’s a decent warning because there are certain touchy subjects or individuals that can set me off…..especially when it’s the same person who gets under my skin and just irritates me because they are breathing and to make it worse, sometimes I just revel in the anger, I gloat over their inferiority, I wallow in the disdain..

And then…..I feel like a failure and that I’m letting both God and myself down…..I know there is a way to find victory over this but I find myself doubting it would be permanent, I guess because I know me and my weaknesses….and figure I’ll just get mad again…..There is no finality to this…no neat wrap-up.  Just a rocky path I need to let go of….

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